I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
