What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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