I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
