I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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