I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
