Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
