Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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