im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
