it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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