Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
