on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
