If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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