i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Do vagina's smell?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
