I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?