Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
