I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
someone owes me an orgasm
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
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Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
third nipple confirmed
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect