Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation