he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
