I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
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Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
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He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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