So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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