fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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