I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
