Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
