i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
