His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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