I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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