Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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