I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
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I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
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I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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