Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
