You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
