so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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