i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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