There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
