census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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