no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
