Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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