We got so high we made milksteak
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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