shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize