i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
