Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.