yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument