I'm so fucking centered right now
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.