I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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