I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
