yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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