Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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