He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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