oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My balls are so social today.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
