Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
