Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Damn victory sex feels great
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
