Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
