You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
thus making me awesome and them whores
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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