Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
NoShamevember. You game?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
