areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
