You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
