Edward fifth and chaser hands
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
soo... how was my night?
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