I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
