Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
