i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
