Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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